Permeates

I suppose I've been bound to go down to the bottom, where those low-lying things look for a way up. Ladyslippers seems uncertain of direction on a slope, more exposed than their nature intended. Maybe sideways seems best. I've learned that trying times often come from trying too hard. I've been considering what it means to take things easy, but I'm nowhere near certain that I've taken them hard enough. Mellow wasn't made for me. Out in the wilderness, I'm often reminded that even if the woods makes me calm, it's anything but. Constant desperation permeates everything. Hungry insects, starving predators, terrified prey. Even more unhinged on account of our relatively short summer. This flower will wither in just a few short days; some of these trees will long outlive me. I'm not sure what time has to do with quality of life. I'm more uneasy about how alive I am while living.

June 23, 2025
Nictaux West, Nova Scotia

Year 18, Day 6434 of my daily journal.